


Tėvas

by New_day



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Family Bonding, Grief/Mourning, Hannibal Lecter Has Feelings, M/M, Murder Husbands, POV First Person, Post-Episode: s03e13 The Wrath of the Lamb, Protective Hannibal Lecter, Sad with a Happy Ending, kind of because Hannibal is still dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 02:46:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17153831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/New_day/pseuds/New_day
Summary: Again, Hannibal took a bullet for Will, but this time he died, after living happily with Will and their daughter for over a decade. His family is grieving him, and his daughter fondly remembers her father.





	Tėvas

**Author's Note:**

> “ Tėvas” is the Lithuanian word for “father” (says Google).
> 
> Trigger warning: It's implied that very bad things happened to Mischa before she was “saved” by Will and Hannibal, but there are no details or graphic descriptions.

“I'm sorry for your loss,“ the man sitting opposite me says, clearing his throat and obviously feeling uncomfortable. He has gray hair, which contrasts with his dark skin, and seems tired and somewhat angry. I wonder if he's angry at me, at my parents or maybe at life itself.

“I know that you regarded him as your father. But you know he wasn't, and you know what they did. They were killers, and they abducted you. We haven't been able to find out anything about you so far. Do you know anything? Do you remember your name, do you know who your parents are?”

Up to now, I have stared down at the table, fighting back the tears. But now I raise my head and look the man in the eye. I hold his gaze, and my voice is clear and firm when I say: “Of course I do.”

Surprised at my answer, the gray-haired man leans forward in his chair and looks at me.

“My name is Mischa. One of my parents is dead because your agents killed him, the other one is sitting in a cage like an animal, because you put him there.”

The man frowns and leans back in his chair again, sighing resignedly.

***

Actually, there are some things I remember, though I won't tell this man about them. They are things I'd rather forget.

I remember pain, I remember being afraid, and I remember being tired constantly, because they often woke me at night or during the day.

Sometimes, they let me watch TV, and that's how I knew that life didn't have to be like this. I knew that there were children who were happy, who were allowed to go outside and play, who had parents who loved them.

Another thing I learned from watching television was that there weren't just evil monsters, like the people who claimed to be my parents, but also good ones. Good monsters who looked human, but weren't. Who could fly like birds or crawl like spiders and were meant to do good and help and save people.

I knew that one day, they would come. The good monsters would come and would save me, would take me away from this place, to my real parents who would love me.

And they did.

One day, when I had almost given up hope, they found me and saved me.

My good monsters.

And my real parents.

***

“Do you know what Stockholm syndrome means?”

The woman looks at me, waiting for me to answer. She isn't young anymore, but still good looking, with red lipstick and gray streaks in her dark hair.

Of course I do, I want to say. I'm not dumb, and I'm majoring in psychology. And I know exactly what you're getting at, but you have no idea what you are talking about.

But I don't say a word, but just stare at her.

She sighs, like the man who talked to me before, and adds: “I know you are grieving, and I'm really sorry. But you have to understand that they just used you, Mischa. People like them aren't capable of love. Of course you became attached to them, because they were all you had. But that's not love, and they are not your parents. They kidnapped you, probably after killing your parents, to play family. Or their own twisted version of a family.”

It takes all my strength not to scream at her. I want to tell her that she has no idea, that she doesn't know anything about my family, I want to spit her in the face.

But I don't do any of these things, but just clench my fists and keep staring at her.

***

When I met my real parents, Tėvas and Dad, for the first time, I was hiding in a corner of my room. Outside, there was screaming, and I didn't know what was going on and was scared. Then suddenly, the screaming stopped, and I heard their steps when they came into my room. 

Carefully, I opened my eyes, and there they were. There was so much blood on their clothes and their faces, only their teeth were white and shiny when they smiled at me.

Oddly, I wasn't scared of them, despite all the blood. For some reason, I knew that these were the first grown-ups I didn't have to be afraid of. I didn't know if they could fly like birds or crawl like spiders, but I knew that they were the good monsters who had come to save me, finally.

I smiled back at them. “Did you come to save me and take me home to my real parents?”

The good monsters looked at me. One of them suddenly seemed very sad and had tears in his eyes, and I could tell he was feeling really sorry for me. The other one still smiled at me and lifted me up, in his arms.

“Yes, we did,” he said. His way of saying the words was strange, but his voice was gentle. I leaned my head against his shoulder and smelled blood and sweat, and I felt secure, for the first time in my life. “Everything is alright,” the man with the strange voice said, stroking my hair. “You are safe now. Nothing is going to happen to you anymore because you are with us now, Mischa.”

***

I tell the tired and somewhat angry man who said his name was Jack Crawford that I would talk to them if they let me see Dad. Of course I won't, but I have to tell him something so he will let me see him.

To my surprise, Mr Crawford just sighs again and nods. “Tomorrow,” he says. “Just for half an hour.”

 

When I see him, I'm shocked. He is sitting opposite me, his hands and feet tied, in an ugly green overall that probably a dozen inmates wore before him. He looks small, defeated, weak, like an old man. I start to cry.

“Hello, Mischa,” Dad says, even his voice weak and trembling, like an old man's.

“You shouldn't have come, I know how hard this is for you. I'm sorry. But I'm so glad to see you.”

“Me too,” I whisper. “I've missed you, Dad.”

I want to hug him, but the guard who is watching us told me that we weren't allowed to touch.

Dad smiles at me, a sad, distressed smile. “You're the best thing that ever happened to us, Mischa. I love you so much, and he did, too. He was so proud of you.”

I snuffle and nod. “Yes, I know, Dad.”

***

Sometimes I went to school, but most of the time, homeschooling was the more convenient or the safer option. When I was homeschooled, Tėvas became my teacher. He taught me everything. He taught me how to count and how to write, how to speak different languages and how to play different instruments. He taught me how the body and how the mind works. He taught me how to draw and how to cook.

Some things were easy to learn, others were hard, but I knew that Tėvas wanted me to learn everything. If something was hard, I just had to try harder. I wanted him to be proud of me, and he was. I could tell by the way he smiled at me when I played the harpsichord. By his look when I told him that I wanted to become a psychology major. By the gleam in his eye when he regarded my drawings which were all framed and hung in his study, even the really bad ones.

***

“It's not the first time he did this,” Dad says, his voice still trembling and weak. “He did it before, taking a bullet for me. Only the first time, he survived. It was close, but he did, thank god.”

I nod again. “I know. You told me.”

***

When I was about to go to college, they said I was old enough to know and told me everything. Their story, everything about themselves, about their lives and how they met and became a couple. Some of these things were funny and cute. About how they first met, and Tėvas fell in love at once, but Dad just found him boring and annoying. About their first breakfast together. About the one time when Tėvas saved a man's life and Dad suddenly couldn't stop staring at him and didn't know what was going on, because he had never been attracted to a man before.

And they told me different, much darker things. Things that shocked me deeply, but also made me understand why they were so close, why their relationship seemed so intimate that even I sometimes felt like an intruder, although I knew they both loved me more than life.

They told me about a man who saw too much and felt too much and was afraid of his own darkness. About a little girl who bore my name, but didn't have two grown-up monsters to save her. About a monster that wasn't good and didn't care about saving lives. About two friends who loved each other, but still betrayed and almost destroyed each other. About two monsters who died after slaying a dragon together, but were reborn and became one.

And about a daughter who trusted the wrong father and died.

When Dad was telling me the last part, Tėvas sat next to him, holding his hand. He said nothing and dropped his gaze, and I knew he couldn't look me in the eye. I was shocked, I had no idea. I didn't even know that there had been another daughter before me. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy, even though I knew what had happened to her.

But I knew that Tėvas would never hurt me, because he wasn't the same person anymore. He had changed. We had both changed him, Dad and I.

***

Dad sighs. “I wish it had been me,” he says. “I would have done the same for him, and I wish I had. I just don't know what to do without him.”

I can't speak because of the lump in my throat, and I reach out and take Dad's hands.

“No touching!” the guard who is watching us bellows, and I let go of my father's hands.

***

When I hear it on the news, I smile, because I know I will see Dad again soon.

I knew. I have no idea how he did it, but I knew he would.

Of course I had to help him, so I quickly gave it to him when I was visiting him at the hospital and held his hands for a moment.

A safety pin, that was all I could give him, because it had to be something small, but I knew he would find a way to use it. 

Apparently, he did. He escaped from the hospital, suddenly not a weak old man anymore, but strong again.

He knows that's what Tėvas would have wanted. He wouldn't have wanted him to be in prison.

I'm waiting for Dad and Aunt Chiyoh at the safe house, hoping that the FBI didn't find out about it yet. 

When I called her and asked her to help us, she didn't want to. She never liked Dad, and I know she blames him.

“It's what Tėvas would have wanted,” I said. “Do it for him, not for Dad. Please.”

There was silence for a moment, then she replied: “I'm on my way” and ended the call.

***

They'll be here any minute. I'm waiting, wondering what Dad will do now and where we will go.

I don't know how yet, but we will find a way. We always do.

It will be harder without him, but we will work it out.

Because that's what he would have wanted.


End file.
